Lingual Tremors

I am not woman enough.

To Do:

1.  Join Jenny Craig.
2.  Cut & Color Hair.
3.  Schedule Botox session and/or facelift
4.  Join New York Sports Club
5.  Get a personal shopper.
6.  Develop an obsession with Jimmy Choos and other fashionable shoes
7.  Buy make-up
8.  Make an appointment for a mani/pedi french manicure (fake nails?)
9.  Throw out all food in the house
10.  Schedule elective genitoplasty.

(Okay, who am I kidding?  This probably isn't even half of the list....for a "real" woman!)

Did you do you homework last night?  Did you read read Sarah Hepola's hilarious "Is Your Vagina Magic?"   Now seriously people:  maybe I just need to watch more porn, but I had no idea that there was an ideal vagina.  But of course, in our image-obsessed society, even our vaginas are fat.  Let me say that again:  our vaginas are fat.

"More and more women are said to be troubled by the shape, size or proportions of their vulvas", wrote Lih Mei Liao and Sarah Creighton from London's UCL Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Institute for Women's Health.

Elective genitoplasty.  Because shooting botulism into your face and using a Hoover to suck fat off your thighs just isn't good enough.  And you wonder why Hillary is having trouble in the polls?   and liposuction aren't enough. 

Read on, vaginaphobes:

Does this make my labia look fat?
Designer Vaginas are Hot
British Medical Journal Blasts Designer Vagina Craze
Reproductive Rights Law Prof's Blog

The Most Important Message Ever...

Pull Your Pants Up...a new message to youth (in which LX seems very, very old!).

Now, if we could only get a "please stop playing with your thong, song!"